Show You Care

Do You Still Care?

Five Ways to Show Your Partner How Much You Do.

Our relationships need to be nurtured and tended to on a daily basis like a beautiful garden. Ever end up at your destination and realize you don’t remember the drive along the way? You had so much going on inside your head and your rote memory kicked in. Our relationships can only run like this for a little while before they begin to suffer.

Communication breakdowns can happen if we are not clear while communicating or ignore talking about deeper issues altogether. Make sure you get your point across so the meaning behind your messages does not get misconstrued. Solely communicating via text messaging because you don’t wish to have a face to face conversation, or don’t feel comfortable doing so when things aren’t going so well, is a signal that something is wrong and shouldn’t be ignored, especially if you live together!

In loving relationships with a partner or spouse, consistently making the other person feel special and appreciated, will help to cement the bond between you.

Here are 5 ways to let your partner know how much you truly care:

  1. Make time for your partner. Spend quality time with them each week. Plan dates (even if you’re married), watch your favorite shows, cook together, or take a walk. Whatever it is you choose to do, be fully tuned in and enjoy one another.
  2. Be affectionate. Hold hands like when you first started dating, come up from behind them and put your arms around them, or softly kiss them on the forehead and tell them how much you appreciate everything they do.
  3. Shower them with surprises. Buy the chocolate covered pretzels they mentioned they enjoyed, start up their car ahead of time on a cold winter morning, buy tickets to the movie they wanted to see or prepare a warm bath with a glass of wine at the end of a long day.
  4. Be intimate. Whether you are in your 20’s or 60’s age does not always define how much you enjoy the pleasure derived from sexual intercourse. If you do not enjoy sex and never have, there is probably a deeper reason that you probably want to figure out and may need a professional to help you do so. Broaden and expand your horizons by spicing things up a bit! Don’t be afraid to push your limits by trying something you both have never tried, sexual exploration is both healthy and fun! Your sexual relationship keeps you deeply connected.
  5. It isn’t a competition. If you don’t agree on something screaming back and forth and wearing your partner down until you prove you’re right and you win is exhausting and does not show you respect their opinion. Come to a decision you can both agree on and at times you will not feel 100% in agreement with the decision but that’s okay. Life isn’t always going to go the way you want but that’s what keeps it interesting.

If you make a consistent effort to fill up your love tanks, your relationship will become more meaningful, deep, and they won’t need to be “topped off” as often.

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Friction

Hi Lady Love,

So there was this guy I knew since freshman year of high school and he was a junior. Over the summer he came to my house and we went swimming and after we went swimming, we went back inside, talked, and finally, he kissed me. He was moving my butt up and down and then all of the sudden I was on top of him. He continued to move me up and down for a little while. What was that? We both still had our bathing suits on and also he said next time he would bring a condom.  And then three months ago he said maybe one day you could come where I live and watch Star Wars. Do you also think it would be just Star Wars? Your thoughts, please. Why was he at my house and moving me up and down on top of him?

Thanks, 

Totally Confused

Dear Totally Confused,

I see no one has had a talk with you yet about sex. You may want to talk to a parent or other adult you feel comfortable with. This boy wants to have sex with you and even told you next time he would bring a condom (at least he practices safe sex!). That’s why he was rubbing against you and you had not heard from him since the summer because he didn’t get what he wanted but is willing to try again. No, he doesn’t just want to watch the movie and if you want to save yourself for someone special (which I hope is your choice) this is probably not the boy for you.

My advice is become more educated about human sexuality and wait to date a boy that likes you for you; your personality, your mind, and not just your body. Hold out for someone that cherishes you!

Smile because you’re special,

Lady Love

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Decisions, Decisions

 

Dear Lady Love,

I started seeing this guy (guy #1) in September (roughly) and maybe a month later one of my best friends started liking him too. We both have been OK with each other liking the same guy. Recently, I started to notice this other cute, shy, guy (guy #2) that was in one of my classes. I don’t know if I “like” this other new guy or if he is just someone I think is cute. I feel I should stop liking #1 because if I do have feelings for #2, I shouldn’t be allowed to try for both lol..  Also,  if I were to stop trying for guy #1, I know I would get utterly heartbroken to see my best friend end up with one of the guys I really liked. HELP!!!! Advice, please!

All Mixed Up

Dear All Mixed Up,

I’m only left to guess but when you say, “I started seeing this guy in September” I assume you both said you like one another (at some point) as I don’t think you are actually “dating” but (sometimes) you still wish he were your boyfriend? It’s fine for you and your best friend to have a crush on the same cute guy if neither is serious, but if one of you really starts to like the guy (which it seems like you had) and he chooses one over the other, it might cause some hard feelings, that’s why they call a crush- it can crush you and your feelings like a steamroller! Something to think about.  You probably will have many crushes before you start to get a lot more serious with guys! You can also “allow” yourself to possibly like someone else. If you like him and he feels the same, eventually, that will come. You said you didn’t care if your friend liked #1 so do you REALLY like him? If your friend and this guy end up liking one another, ask yourself, “Do I like him or am I upset because I liked him first, now he likes her?” Maybe you should talk to guy #2 and get to know him. If he’s shy, you never know how he feels. He may like you and is too shy to let you know.

Bottom line- have fun and enjoy yourself! Guys will come and guys may go but true friendship is forever!

Candy hearts and hugs,

Lady Love

 

 

 

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Sweet Words and Valentines

Today, valentine cards with scribbled notes to classmates will be opened by innocent schoolchildren,  family members will share dear thoughts with loved ones, and lovers will pour out their deepest feelings, for some, feelings that may go unshared throughout the year. On Valentine’s day, roughly 150 million cards are shared.

The oldest remaining valentine was written in 1415 by Frenchman Charles Duke of Orleans, written to his wife while he was imprisoned in the tower of London. Written in French, the translation of what he wrote in English is, “I am already sick of love, my very gentle Valentine.”

The first valentines were sent in the 18th century and were homemade. Some were decorated with flowers or love knots and contained handwritten poems. They could be found on door knockers or were discreetly slipped under doors of those who captured their heart.

The popularity of sending valentines blossomed and grew in the Victorian period. England started producing Valentine day cards in the 1820’s and the first valentine received in the U.S. was received by nineteen-year-old Esther Howland in 1847 in Worcester, MA., who in turn, created the New England Valentine Company that produced valentines for the next 30 years (love to my native N.E.)!

Valentine’s Day Cards have been expressing deep sentiments for many years and still remain popular today. At times when one can not find the words to say, have love in their heart that needs to be expressed, or want to put a smile on someone’s face, the card may say it best. Handmade cards will continue to remain utterly romantic.  Tender thoughts, words so carefully chosen, an expression of creativity and true beauty from deep within, never dismiss the power of a homemade card.

To all my single ladies and gentlemen- let that crush know you exist- work it! Go out with your single friends tonight and have fun! Just keep trouble at bay! 😉

Readers, throughout the year and on this very special day, tell those you love, you love them in many different ways. One thing you will never regret is sharing all the love you hold in your heart.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

XOXO,

Lady Love

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Interview- Last First Date Radio

Hi everyone!

Had a great interview today with  Sandy Weiner on Last First Date Radio! Check out her site for a wealth of information on dating: http://lastfirstdate.com. Her target audience is single women 40+ but anyone who is single and dating can learn a thing or two from her site as it’s loaded with sage advice! I mentioned the site recently when  I had a guest post published.Today, we discussed drama, as it relates to dating, pulling from topics related to my book, “Drama Free Dating.

02/09/18: Here’s the link to latest blog post and the interview:

https://lastfirstdate.com/ditch-dating-drama/

I hope 2018 showers you with love!

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What’s Romance?

 

 

Hello Friends,                                                     

It’s that time again. Hopefully, Cupid will be shooting his arrow in your direction, as Valentine’s day is right around the corner. Think about the most romantic thing you’ve ever done. If nothing comes to mind, you might want to brush up in this area. When people think about romance they think about candlelight dinners, flowers, chocolates, or a sexy nighty from Victoria’s Secret. Most girls would agree, they’re all lovely, but romance is so much more.

The way you look into your lover’s eyes, dancing in the middle of the living room on a Thursday night, being there when your partner wakes up in the hospital and reading together in bed at the end of a long, tiresome, day.  Cooking a mouth-watering meal together, cuddling under a fuzzy blanket while watching a movie (with a big bowl of popcorn!) or attending the opera because the person you love, loves to go. All encompass romance.

Simple acts of kindness throughout the year will make your relationship that much stronger. Pack their lunch for work with a cute note, backrubs at the end of the night, a photo shoot at your favorite spot or weekend getaways where you’re totally unplugged.

If you’re single, put together a girls or guys night out! Go to a local art gallery, comedy club or neighborhood bar for a beer or glass of wine! Celebrate incredible- you!

After dating for a year or being married for many, at times we go along on auto-pilot and become complacent. You don’t want to begin to feel like roommates. Keep things fresh!

This Valentine’s Day try something new, add a bit of spark to your relationship! And while you’re at it, go ahead and throw in a romantic dinner, flowers, chocolate, and that sexy nighty! 😉

 

X’s and O’s,

Lady Love

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I Want More

Dear Lady Love,

I have been dating the same guy for 3 (almost 4) years. I see him twice a week. We both have busy schedules and have children, but the kids are getting older now and it seems like he is still happy with our “arrangement.” It’s so vanilla. We go out or hang out usually on Tuesday or Wednesday and Saturday night and we don’t stay over at each other’s places (I have an apartment, he has a home). I talk to him about seeing each other more and he always says he’s tired from work, has to work out, spend time with the kids, etc. Always an excuse and I don’t push him. I don’t want to break up but have been thinking more about possibly wanting to get remarried again. When we were together about a year, he said he doesn’t think he ever wants to remarry. Do you think I should just be happy I’ve got a good guy? He is very respectful, compliments me, and we have a lot in common. 

Wanting More

Dear Wanting More,

If you’re questioning wanting more and call your relationship “vanilla,” I think you know the answer. It seems like you found a nice guy who is very comfortable with the way things have been. Why hasn’t he pushed things forward or made you more of a priority? He hasn’t been required to. He’s happily riding the wave with no requirements. Think about what you really want in a relationship whether it is with him or someone else. Think about if you would like to get married again or possibly live with someone eventually. Then I suggest you talk to him about where you would like your relationship to end up. He will probably be taken aback and may need time to think about what he wants.  If he isn’t feeling it, you have a choice to walk away. You never have to settle for mediocre happiness, “just be happy I’ve got a good guy.” Hopefully, you can come to an agreement that works for both of you. If not, there are lots of great guys out there!

Love Well,

Lady Love

 

 

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Guest Post: Blondiemarie.com

Hello All!

 

Here’s my latest guest post on Blondiemarie.com.

Her blog is loaded with lots of goodies and is everything BOOK related. Reviews, editing, author interviews/guest posts, and recommendations about the hottest new books!

Check out the guest post:

http://www.blondiemarie.com/books/guest-post-drama-free-dating

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Love Is In The Air For The New Year

Happy New Year Readers! 

I hope your year is off to a great start! Have you thought about some of the goals you would like to accomplish this year? Are you going to put a lot more effort into finding love? You know, Mr. or Ms. Right won’t show up at your door, although that would be nice. 😉

For those of you in a relationship/marriage, any trips planned for 2018? Are you and your partner connecting on a deeper level or just going through the motions?

Recently, I contributed to an article which was just posted on, “The National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists Blog.” It’s focused on improving your relationship in 2018!

Here’s the link so you can check it out and hopefully, you may start to implement some or all of these changes, and you will reap the rewards of your efforts:

 https://www.marriagefriendlytherapists.com/blog/keep-your-relationship-resolutions-5-tips-46

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Guest Post

Hi everyone!

Recently I wrote a guest post for Sandy Weiner’s blog: http://lastfirstdate.com. It’s a great blog for women who are 40+ searching for love!

Check out my article on some of the things you may be doing that men label as-“drama.”

Here it is: https://lastfirstdate.com/10-types-of-dating-drama-that-turn-off-the-men-you-like/

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